A Wild thing happened on the way to Africa!

I consider myself an pretty optimistic gal, a "look at the cup half full" kind of babe. However, I have bad days. Sometimes, a bad day may turn into two. More so now then when my life my life seemed more calm. My days all seem to blend into one giant never ending, labor intensive existence. I'm tired, I'm worried, I'm overwhelmed and overworked. I wake up after a less then peaceful night, dress 7 kids, make lunches, deal with the on going drama of bodily fluids, get them out the door, hopefully shower, then either run errands before the K-twins (that's Little Man and Lil' Diva) get home or drop the Studman off at preschool and go to the school to work with the boys. Home at 11:30 with extra kids in tow because I watch a few for a little bit. Then its homework, cleaning, projects, etc. The other 4 kids show up between 3:00 and 4:00 and then I have to keep time with soccer, music lesson, dance, scouts, activity days, YW, throw a healthy nutritious meal in there somewhere and then bedtime. Its like ground hog day. You know the movie. (I'm not a fan of Bill Murry, FYI).

So I had a bad 36 hours. I just gave you my weekday routine but my Sunday routine is just as hard. We have church at 9 and Ryan is in the Stake Pres.(sec.) so he is gone all morning. It's stressful, to say the least. Even though it was regional conference and we did not need to be there till 10am, I slept in. It was a joke trying to catch up and get ready. So it set me off. I had a melt down. Not pretty!

Add to that my clothes are getting tighter, I am eating like crap and not sleeping well (it's like I have 3 newborns all waking me up at various times at night). I need to figure out when I can start running again but it seems impossible right now.

Do you get my drift. I'M JUST SPENT!

So I did a little soul searching last night and I prayed for some answers. I was lead to couple of talks by church leaders and then I wondered about my journal. For the past couple years my journal has become my blog, for the more secret affairs of heart I have taken to a journal that is saved on my computer but my actually hand written journal... when was the last time I wrote it that? So I got it out thinking I would write a little. I ended up reading past passages that touched my heart. My mind and heart started to see clearer then to my shock and awe I read the last two entries. They were from more then 2 years ago. Yes, my first trip to Africa. Here is what I wrote...

April 16, 2009

"...A little boy, about 2 years old would not let go of me. We walked up the stairs (which had NO rails by the way) and then came back down when it was decided I should teach the 2nd grade class...
...The same little boy who shadowed me all morning played next to the car with another boy that had the same face (this was while I was eating lunch). Tammy said they must be orphans because the younger brother was too young to be going to school..."

There is a lot more but some of it seems to personal to share.

And then the next entry was written at the JFK airport a few days later. This is what put me back on my feet again (buckle up).

"I'm sitting at the JFK airport. Africa was such an amazing place but I miss my babies so much! I felt so torn as I left early this morning. And how I wish I could have those two boys from the orphanage."

Just as I read this those two boys were upstairs sleeping in their soft warm bed. IS THIS NOT AMAZING?

This picture is the only one I ended up with from my time at LH that had my boys in it. (Green bowls on the left hand side). I am amazed that God heard the pray of my heart. He gave me exactly what I wanted. It is hard work to raise these 2 beautiful boys who have seen and experienced so much hurt and loss. But I LOVE them! I have from the very beginning.

Do you believe in miracles?