Wednesday, January 11, 2012

The annual Re-Inventing of ME

It's a new year. Everyone is thinking about change. Everyone is thinking about goals. If your not one of those new year resolutions types your still thinking about how you want 2012 to go for you. Me...well, I have this thing that I have always written a list of "50 things I want to do in my life" on the very last page of my journal. Some things are pretty easy to do and don't take much effort to accomplish like " See Bernadette Peters perform live." CHECK! Some are a little harder to accomplish and take a lot more effort on my part like "Run a Marathon." Most of my goals I remember and I try to get a few crossed off every year.
When I get a new journal (which is not as often since technology is so awesome!) Anyway...when I get a new journal I take off the checked goals and add new ones. The last time I created a list was in Sept. of 2006. I was too emotional last year to even remember to look at this list. But I just did...
#22. Visit an African Orphanage and do something about it.

Hmmm, should I check that one off yet?

Anyway, my point being that I really am not a January goal setter. However, I do use January to reflect on my life and decide if I am still on course to becoming the person I want to be. I call it my "re-invention".

I ask myself these questions...

"What did I like/love about myself last year?"
I loved the time I spent with my kids. Talking to my teenager and reading with my babies. I loved how I felt when I studied my scriptures. I loved being with the love of my life and father of my children. I loved the times I served others. I loved how I felt inside when I ate right and excercised not to mention my clothes felt better.
"What did I learn about myself last year?"
I learned I have a lot of will power. I learned I have stamina. I learned that God is always with me. I learned that if I look for answers I will find them. I learned that I am in charge of my life. I should NEVER do anything out of guilt. I learned who I wanted to be like and who I did not want to be like. The only people that ever did anything worth talking about got talked about.
"Who did I allow to influence me last year?"
My Savior is my greatest friend. When everyone else's advice lead me no where, He told me exactly what to do. Only God knows what I am capable of. I should not let other people tell me what I can or can't do. I can not let people dictate what I should be doing, no matter how much they love me or I them. Nobody loves me more then my Heavenly Father!


When I have all those answers in my head I can answer this question...
"How can I use this year to the best of my ability?"
This answer is between me and the Lord. I'm not sharing.

I sluff off all the other stuff that did not matter. And I take all the stuff that did matter forward. I say goodbye to my mistakes, my lost temper, my impatience, my imperfections and I move forward. I give it to the Lord and press on.

I know I will make mistakes in 2012. I know I will not do everything the way I wish I could. But I will do my best. And I have learned...my best is not too shabby.

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